I Need 3 Jokes
- Thread starter _carmi
- Start date
Here's some funny ones haha
Why do white people like to play hockey?
It’s the only other way to beat something black up if they're not a cop.
Why don't they teach Drivers Ed. and Sex Ed. on the same day in the middle east?
The camels would get too tired!
What do you call a bunch of white guys sitting on a bench?
The NBA
What do you call a white man in court?
The lawyer.
What do you call a chinese nigger with AIDS?
Coon Die Soon
What do you call a little mexican?
A paragraph, because he's not quite an essay
Why do mexicans like tiny steering wheels?
It make it easier to drive while handcuffed!
Whats the difference between a jew and a pizza?
The pizza doesnt scream when you put it in an oven!
What language does Jewish homo speak?
Heblew
Why do white people like to play hockey?
It’s the only other way to beat something black up if they're not a cop.
Why don't they teach Drivers Ed. and Sex Ed. on the same day in the middle east?
The camels would get too tired!
What do you call a bunch of white guys sitting on a bench?
The NBA
What do you call a white man in court?
The lawyer.
What do you call a chinese nigger with AIDS?
Coon Die Soon
What do you call a little mexican?
A paragraph, because he's not quite an essay
Why do mexicans like tiny steering wheels?
It make it easier to drive while handcuffed!
Whats the difference between a jew and a pizza?
The pizza doesnt scream when you put it in an oven!
What language does Jewish homo speak?
Heblew
LMAO!!
Q: how do you comfuse a blonde?
A: put her in a circle room and tell her to sit in the corner.
Q:what do you say when you see a floating T.V. at night?
A:drop it nigger
i personally prefer jokes that are so shit they make you laugh... like
Q:what do you call a gay dinosaur?
A:a megasaurass
get it?? MEGER SORE ASS??
lol DIE stred
Q: how do you comfuse a blonde?
A: put her in a circle room and tell her to sit in the corner.
Q:what do you say when you see a floating T.V. at night?
A:drop it nigger
i personally prefer jokes that are so shit they make you laugh... like
Q:what do you call a gay dinosaur?
A:a megasaurass
get it?? MEGER SORE ASS??
lol DIE stred
What do you call a fat Chinaman?
- A chunk.
Why do black people keep getting stronger?
- Cause Tvs keep getting heavier.
What do you call a black priest?
- Holy Shit
2 fags have sex, and then one decides to take a bath. One of the fags tell the other: "Dont jerk off in the bathtub, it's disgusting.. I don't want to clean it"... so the other says ok.
30 mins later, when the fruit's bath is over, the other fruit walks in and says: "YOU JERKED OFF IN THE BATHROOM" ... the homo replies: "No I didn't... I just farted"
- A chunk.
Why do black people keep getting stronger?
- Cause Tvs keep getting heavier.
What do you call a black priest?
- Holy Shit
2 fags have sex, and then one decides to take a bath. One of the fags tell the other: "Dont jerk off in the bathtub, it's disgusting.. I don't want to clean it"... so the other says ok.
30 mins later, when the fruit's bath is over, the other fruit walks in and says: "YOU JERKED OFF IN THE BATHROOM" ... the homo replies: "No I didn't... I just farted"
Some extremely stupid ones, some extremely offensive, some are racist like Carmi requested so if you're sensitive don't read.
Q:What does Batman say to Robin when they enter the batmobile?
A:Get in Robin!
Q:What do you use to kill a spiderman?
A:A slipperman
-Knock Knock
-Who is it?
-Jean Claude van Damme
-I don't know you. Get the fuck out of here all you guys
-Knock Knock
-who is it?
-maya
-maya what?
-- Ma-ia-hii,
Ma-ia-huu,
Ma-ia-hoo,
Ma-ia-haha
Q:how do you call a guy with no left arm, no left leg, no left ear and no left eye?
A: All right!
Q: What does a pinguin do in half surfaced in water?
A: Cleans his ass
Q: Why Di Caprio got a job in "Titanic"?
A: because Bruce Willis would save everybody
-Mom! mom! I got "A" from my semester test in school!
-Don't be so happy! You've got cancer anyway
-pidgeon flies over the power plant and thinks: "WTF do I need a refrigerator if I can't whistle"
Q: What's the difference between a small jew and a big jew?
A: fuel value
Favorite Jewish group?
Iron Maidanek
Q:Favorite jewish sport?
A: Judo
Q: Favorite jewish tv show?
A: Hidden Chamber
Q: Why hitler shot himself?
A: he got a gas bill
how do you know if you're already in Germany?
When you notice that cows are prettier than women.
Hospital, there's a guy with a knife thrusted in his gut.
Doctor asks - Does it hurt?
Guy - Only when I laugh
Two cops walk the streets while one noticed rind of banana 10 meters in front of them and said : oh no! We're going to collapse again!
A businessman has a lake full of gators. He decided to give a milion dolars and one night wife his beautiful wife to the first guy who will swim to the other shore and stay alive. Instantly one guy splashed into the water, swimmed like 30miles/hour and in few seconds he was on the other shore screaming:
-where's the bitch?
businessman:
-just a mo..
- Where's the bitch who pushed me ?
Q: Why don't Jewish cannibals like eating Germans?
A: They give them gas.
"Two Martinis, bitte."
"Dry?"
"Nein, I said TWO!"
Q: What is the difference between the Dresden bombing and Germany's best comedian?
A: Only the first one can make you smile.
Chairman of Coca-Cola CO. talks on the phone with President Putin.
-Mr.President, I've got a great offer for you and your country. How about chaning your flag back from blue-white-red to simply red one like in good old days of soviet union?
We offer you.. let's say.. 5 billion dollars/year.
Putin says: I have to think about it, I'll call back.
Putin hangs up the phone and calls his personal assistent:
-Wania, when exactly does our deal with Aquafresh end?
Q:How do you call a black man who got awarded with a noble prize?
A: A Nigger
Q: How do you call a black man riding a bike?
A: Thief
when you ride a car and see that cows are prettier than women it means you're in germany
Most offensive ones:
Q: What's even funnier than a dead child?
A: A dead child in clown outfit
Q: how to stop a band of black people from raping a young white girl?
A: Throw them a basket ball.
Q: Why was Stevie Wonder smiling all the time?
A: Because he didn't see he's black.
Q: what is jewish kid doing in the chimney?
A: waiting for his mother
A wigger caught a gold fish bla bla and bla and it said his wish will come true in the night.
So he is sleeping etc. and suddenly gets up hearing terrible screams in his backyard, then hears somebody's knocking on his door. He opens..
He sees a burning cross, few black people hung dead on the tree and few people dressed in white saying:
-Was it you who wished to swing like a nigga?
I had a hard time translating those jokes but I hope it was worth it.
Q:What does Batman say to Robin when they enter the batmobile?
A:Get in Robin!
Q:What do you use to kill a spiderman?
A:A slipperman
-Knock Knock
-Who is it?
-Jean Claude van Damme
-I don't know you. Get the fuck out of here all you guys
-Knock Knock
-who is it?
-maya
-maya what?
-- Ma-ia-hii,
Ma-ia-huu,
Ma-ia-hoo,
Ma-ia-haha
Q:how do you call a guy with no left arm, no left leg, no left ear and no left eye?
A: All right!
Q: What does a pinguin do in half surfaced in water?
A: Cleans his ass
Q: Why Di Caprio got a job in "Titanic"?
A: because Bruce Willis would save everybody
-Mom! mom! I got "A" from my semester test in school!
-Don't be so happy! You've got cancer anyway
-pidgeon flies over the power plant and thinks: "WTF do I need a refrigerator if I can't whistle"
Q: What's the difference between a small jew and a big jew?
A: fuel value
Favorite Jewish group?
Iron Maidanek
Q:Favorite jewish sport?
A: Judo
Q: Favorite jewish tv show?
A: Hidden Chamber
Q: Why hitler shot himself?
A: he got a gas bill
how do you know if you're already in Germany?
When you notice that cows are prettier than women.
Hospital, there's a guy with a knife thrusted in his gut.
Doctor asks - Does it hurt?
Guy - Only when I laugh
Two cops walk the streets while one noticed rind of banana 10 meters in front of them and said : oh no! We're going to collapse again!
A businessman has a lake full of gators. He decided to give a milion dolars and one night wife his beautiful wife to the first guy who will swim to the other shore and stay alive. Instantly one guy splashed into the water, swimmed like 30miles/hour and in few seconds he was on the other shore screaming:
-where's the bitch?
businessman:
-just a mo..
- Where's the bitch who pushed me ?
Q: Why don't Jewish cannibals like eating Germans?
A: They give them gas.
"Two Martinis, bitte."
"Dry?"
"Nein, I said TWO!"
Q: What is the difference between the Dresden bombing and Germany's best comedian?
A: Only the first one can make you smile.
Chairman of Coca-Cola CO. talks on the phone with President Putin.
-Mr.President, I've got a great offer for you and your country. How about chaning your flag back from blue-white-red to simply red one like in good old days of soviet union?
We offer you.. let's say.. 5 billion dollars/year.
Putin says: I have to think about it, I'll call back.
Putin hangs up the phone and calls his personal assistent:
-Wania, when exactly does our deal with Aquafresh end?
Q:How do you call a black man who got awarded with a noble prize?
A: A Nigger
Q: How do you call a black man riding a bike?
A: Thief
when you ride a car and see that cows are prettier than women it means you're in germany
Most offensive ones:
Q: What's even funnier than a dead child?
A: A dead child in clown outfit
Q: how to stop a band of black people from raping a young white girl?
A: Throw them a basket ball.
Q: Why was Stevie Wonder smiling all the time?
A: Because he didn't see he's black.
Q: what is jewish kid doing in the chimney?
A: waiting for his mother
A wigger caught a gold fish bla bla and bla and it said his wish will come true in the night.
So he is sleeping etc. and suddenly gets up hearing terrible screams in his backyard, then hears somebody's knocking on his door. He opens..
He sees a burning cross, few black people hung dead on the tree and few people dressed in white saying:
-Was it you who wished to swing like a nigga?
I had a hard time translating those jokes but I hope it was worth it.
i have a couple
1. what do you get when you cross an owl with a rooster?
a cock that stays up all night
2. My last girlfriend told me to give her twelve inches and make it hurt so i fucked her 3 times and punched her in the head
3. what's the difference between Batman and Black man?
Black man can't go anywhere without Robin (Robbin')
1. what do you get when you cross an owl with a rooster?
a cock that stays up all night
2. My last girlfriend told me to give her twelve inches and make it hurt so i fucked her 3 times and punched her in the head
3. what's the difference between Batman and Black man?
Black man can't go anywhere without Robin (Robbin')