i have come to a stage in my life where...
- Thread starter Tha_Wood
- Start date
*tickles Duke*sure.
realizing your parents don't ask you where you are and require you text them whenever you go somewhere because they want to control you or catch you doing shit like drinking or smoking. i remember when i was younger, whenever they asked something of me i felt it was part of some bigger plot to try to "shape" me. later i found out they just couldn't feel calm and relaxed when there's the possibility their child ends up drunken in a ditch somewhere. having this experience, and realizing how silly it was of me to bitch at my parents for wanting to know what i was doing at all times, started the whole thing for me. i started reviewing things that i had spent a lot of time thinking about at some point in my life and then "moved on from" in a new light. my parents just wanted to ensure i was safe. on one occasion, my bro was out with the boat, it got late and he wasn't back yet, his phone was suddenly off. i felt like my parents, it made me realize things. it put me right in their spot and you understand a lot from experiencing that.
similarly, the question of confidence and love is changing for me. as a kid, if your girlfriend doesn't do this and that you may feel she doesn't love you, young people think a lot of stupid shit. i'm starting to learn that it's not so much about personal feelings of dislike and not "loving someone enough" as it is that we're all humans with preferences, and the more preferences you aquire through life, the less important things like love and self-esteem becomes. it's not about those things, it's about you being one person, finding another person whose personality and behavior fits well enough with yours that both of you are able to live together without inconveniences. if someone doesn't like you, it's not as simple as "they don't like you", it's normally a more reasonable explanation. instead of taking that as a blow to self, realizing that it's a matter of differences of opinions instead, is something i'm starting to think about and appreciate. i'm not saying i consider myself an adult, but i'm starting to realize that you have to give up certain naive feelings and thoughts if you're ever gonna grow past being a depressed little kid seeking love.
realizing your parents don't ask you where you are and require you text them whenever you go somewhere because they want to control you or catch you doing shit like drinking or smoking. i remember when i was younger, whenever they asked something of me i felt it was part of some bigger plot to try to "shape" me. later i found out they just couldn't feel calm and relaxed when there's the possibility their child ends up drunken in a ditch somewhere. having this experience, and realizing how silly it was of me to bitch at my parents for wanting to know what i was doing at all times, started the whole thing for me. i started reviewing things that i had spent a lot of time thinking about at some point in my life and then "moved on from" in a new light. my parents just wanted to ensure i was safe. on one occasion, my bro was out with the boat, it got late and he wasn't back yet, his phone was suddenly off. i felt like my parents, it made me realize things. it put me right in their spot and you understand a lot from experiencing that.
similarly, the question of confidence and love is changing for me. as a kid, if your girlfriend doesn't do this and that you may feel she doesn't love you, young people think a lot of stupid shit. i'm starting to learn that it's not so much about personal feelings of dislike and not "loving someone enough" as it is that we're all humans with preferences, and the more preferences you aquire through life, the less important things like love and self-esteem becomes. it's not about those things, it's about you being one person, finding another person whose personality and behavior fits well enough with yours that both of you are able to live together without inconveniences. if someone doesn't like you, it's not as simple as "they don't like you", it's normally a more reasonable explanation. instead of taking that as a blow to self, realizing that it's a matter of differences of opinions instead, is something i'm starting to think about and appreciate. i'm not saying i consider myself an adult, but i'm starting to realize that you have to give up certain naive feelings and thoughts if you're ever gonna grow past being a depressed little kid seeking love.
Yeah, it never made sense to me either, then suddenly I'm having these thoughts. Anyway, the important part I was trying to convey is that everyone develops differently, but I think we all end up sort of the same. The ones of us who have a healthy development (people who never work and sell drugs don't for example. no professional achievements, no inclination to improve, etc) throughout life all go through a series of tests to harden us. It's natural for everyone to stop taking love-related matters so personally in order to not get hurt time and again. Likewise, as you grow, instead of being offended when people hack at you, you opt not to. Confidence is not some magic feeling that happens to special people who have it all, it's a natural result of not worrying so much about what others think about you. Being hurt/offended occasionally is a part of reality, so instead of trying to change a reality you can't change, you change your stance on reality. To me that's something that happened in a process over a lot of time though.
