man...you got some life story, man....
i'm really a kinda laid back person too...i don talk alot unless someone cracks my shell...then i kinda start pouring myself out to people....the same thing with my anger...i dunno how to say without sounding like im someone people like to pick on at school, cuz im not, but alotta my friends know me for just taking their shit and moving on.... my first name is kinda feminine...but that's what we get for being indian, right? so i get called different names for fun...it doesnt piss me off...and yes, that's a very minor thing, but people take shots at me and i just smile and dont do anything.... i think it gets to em, so they come back, put an arm around me and say the were just joking....taht's actually how i made alotta my friends... i guess you gotta learn to take shit from people...cuz yes, in the end, we all die, and it doesnt matter...
your situation is somewhat similar too... i keep anger inside all the time... my parents remind me, constantly, that they wont pay for college, when only freshman year of high school they were saying if i went into the medicine line, they'd fund everything...alotta that shit puts stress on me, and it would on anyone, but i guess you gotta learn that when EVERYTHING boils down to the core, all you have left in this world is yourself.... at some point, even family members and friends bail out on you, and you become a lost case...to them atleast...
my point?? stop worring so much about people... something is obviously up with you and your sis....your band just broke up, what's next for you? are you ruined? will you find a way out? when shit starts working out again, it should all come back to normal....it's a cycle....so the hardships will start again soon, and then come back down... you hear the phrase, life is like a see-saw?? very few people have a fat kid sitting on the other end....meaning very few people have it good from the get go and until they die....so its normal to go through shit like this....
hell, what do i know?? im only 17, what do i know about life?? well, that philosophy i just mentioned above is something ive adopted and im trying to do everyday...and it's starting to work out fine now... i just focus on myself and fuck everyone else.... i figured this way i cant go wrong and cant regret anything.... i've never regretted not worrying about someone else...