Internet
Today I was supposed to sand down and prime a door frame, prime one door, paint another door, paint a radiator, buy a lampshade, go for Sunday lunch and take the dog for a walk. Instead I've sat in front of this machine for the best part of four hours, a good portion of which has been spent looking at porn, and the only thing I've achieved is to shoot a wad of my own semen into a tissue.
What a pointless waste of cunting time and semen.