An Irishman, an Aussie and a Scouser walk into a bar...

#1
An Australian, an Irishman and a Scouser are in a bar. They're staring at another man sitting on his own at a table in the corner. He's so familiar, and not recognising him is driving them mad.

They stare and stare, until suddenly the Irishman twigs: "My God, it's Jesus!"

Sure enough, it is Jesus, nursing a pint.
Thrilled, they send him over a pint of Guinness, a pint of Foster's and a pint of bitter.

Jesus accepts the drinks, smiles over at the three men, and drinks the pints slowly, one after another. After he's finished the drinks, Jesus approaches the trio.
He reaches for the hand of the Irishman and shakes it, thanking him for the Guinness.
When he lets go, the Irishman gives a cry of amazement:
"My God! The arthritis I've had for 30 years is gone. It's a miracle!"

Jesus then shakes the Aussie's hand, thanking him for the lager. As he lets go, the man's eyes widen in shock.
"Strewth mate, the bad back I've had all my life is completely gone! It's a miracle."

Jesus then approaches the Scouser who knocks over a chair and a table in trying to get away from the Son of God.

"What's wrong?" says Jesus.

The Scouser shouts, "Fuck off, I'm on disability benefit!"
 

ARon

Well-Known Member
#4
I was wondering what a scouser is too. I guess its only funny if you know that, but even if i knew i dont think it would be funny.
 
#5
lol... I can't seriously be only North American who knows what a Scouser is. I'm probably one of few Liverpool fans though :)

Good joke bud :thumb: haha
 
#8
it was awite, but it was long, and a lot of the joke was pointless. Them sittin wonderin who the man is, wut kinda beer they each giv him, u don need it.
 

Duke

Well-Known Member
Staff member
#10
Saint33 said:
it was awite, but it was long, and a lot of the joke was pointless. Them sittin wonderin who the man is, wut kinda beer they each giv him, u don need it.
it adds atmopshere, n00blar
 
#11
Duke said:
it adds atmopshere, n00blar
howd i no, as soon i as i saw ur name, i new u wer gunna disagree wit me :rolleyes:

it may add atmosphere to u, but i jus find it stalling, and builds up this huge long joke, for a punch line that is almost irrelevant and not very funny. But thats jus IMO, think wut ya'll want
 

S O F I

Administrator
Staff member
#12
How is it irrelevant? All three things that the guys have, have to do with health and a chance for disability benefits.

The joke is dope.
 

Taliq

On Probation: Please report any break in the guide
#16
ShockA said:
lol... I can't seriously be only North American who knows what a Scouser is. I'm probably one of few Liverpool fans though :)

Good joke bud :thumb: haha
U live in Canada AND ur a koppite?! God how i pity u

joke :D
 

Duke

Well-Known Member
Staff member
#19
Saint33 said:
howd i no, as soon i as i saw ur name, i new u wer gunna disagree wit me :rolleyes:

it may add atmosphere to u, but i jus find it stalling, and builds up this huge long joke, for a punch line that is almost irrelevant and not very funny. But thats jus IMO, think wut ya'll want
I don't know, perhaps because i think you're an illiterate idiot? :rolleyes:

That aside, it's not stalling. Like Ilu said, the build up is part of the joke. It's not all about punchlines. I'd rather listen to an interesting, long joke with a good story in it than just some random punchline.

The art of storytelling.
 
#20
Duke said:
I don't know, perhaps because i think you're an illiterate idiot? :rolleyes:

That aside, it's not stalling. Like Ilu said, the build up is part of the joke. It's not all about punchlines. I'd rather listen to an interesting, long joke with a good story in it than just some random punchline.

The art of storytelling.
first off STFU! :rolleyes: and im illerate? ur the one callin me a n00blar? like thats not even a word, and it has zeros instead of "o"s like cum on go back to kindergarten.

and i agree wit u, that the build up to a joke is important, but u hav to no how much build up, certain punch lines need. thers such thing as too much build up, especially if the punchline isnt that clever. U don wanna hear a huge page long story and then hav the punch line be and then the chicken crossed the road. thats jus a waste of time.
 

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