Basic Rules For Driving

#1
1. Turn signals will give away your next move. A real driver never
uses them.

2. Under no circumstance should you leave a safe distance between you and the car in front of you, or the space will be filled in by somebody else, putting you in an even more dangerous situation.

3. The faster you drive through a red light, the smaller the chance you have of getting hit.

4. Never, ever come to a complete stop at a stop sign. No one expects it and it will result in you being rear-ended.

5. Never get in the way of an older car that needs extensive bodywork,


6. Braking is to be done as hard and late as possible to ensure that your ABS kicks in, giving a nice, relaxing foot massage as the brake pedal pulsates. For those of you without ABS, it's a chance to stretch your legs.

7. Never pass on the left when you can pass on the right. It's a good way to prepare people entering the highway.

8. Speed limits are arbitrary figures, given only as a suggestion and are apparently not enforceable in rush hour.

9. Just because you're in the left lane and have no room to speed up or move over doesn't mean that a driver flashing his high beams behind you doesn't think he can go faster in your spot.

10. Always slow down and rubberneck when you see an accident or even someone changing a tire. This is seen as a sign of respect for the victim.

11. Learn to swerve abruptly.The Highways Department puts pot-holes in key locations to test drivers' reflexes and keep them alert.

12. Honk your horn at cars that don't move the instant the light turns green.

13. Remember that the goal of every driver is to get there first by whatever means necessary.

14.Flipping someone the bird' is considered a polite salute. This gesture should always be returned.
 
#2
Have a little road rage do we? lol I know I do. These non driving people around here get on my nerves so bad. I usually wind up cursing out at least one person everyday. :D
I know one day I was going to work and there's this bridge that connects the town I work in and the city I live in and the speed limit is 45 mph on it. So being the way I am, I was driving about 50 and all of a sudden I'm all up on the ass of this woman driving 30. Good thing there was nobody in the other lane or I woulda run all over her. Passing her I looked over and it's this 90 year old little woman that could barely see over the steering wheel. Then I felt bad for cursing her out. :(
 

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